So I'm reading (actually I've already read it once, now I'm re-reading it and underlining pretty much every other sentence) this book by Francis Chan called, "Crazy Love". The first 3 chapters were hard to hear, but a good prep for the rest. This book has stirred up so much about my faith that 1) I had 'spiritual amnesia' to (word he uses in the book) or 2) things I thought resolved that apparently are not and 3) a challenge and call to action for the way I live in my faith that has for lack of better words, spurned a fire within me. I'm so busy with my 'job' in YL 'helping' others, that I'm left drained spiritually and although my Bible gets opened in preparation for the HS girls Campaigners Bible Study group I lead, only then to the point of quickly preparing the lesson on Sunday before the Monday study. I look now and see how I was 'squeezing it in' and some how this was acceptable for me to teach/lead?! After reading (again) this book this afternoon, I read my Bible, Matthew to be specific (which is split paged between TNIV and Message versions) with such vigor and hunger and conviction like I haven't had in, well, I'm not sure I've ever had...
Beyond that, the book which laid out in often uncomfortable messages, caused me to evaluate myself and I'm challenged beyond anything before to do the most, with my purpose, (in my minute time here), as possible through ever tenet and tenticle of my being, of my life. To slack or do any less now seems absurd. Like I'm living as if I think this teeny blip on the long time-line of existance that is my life is of such importance that I arrogantly fall into worry about it, stress because of it, and am led to comparison of other's lives or things...it just seems so futile, shallow and ridiculous now.
Do I (or have I) really have the FAITH that prayer IS answered. (Understanding that the options can be 1) No, not yet. 2) No, I love you too much, 3) Yes, I thought you'd never ask and 4) Yes, and here's more...).
Do I really have the FAITH to live without concern for my life (health, wellbeing, etc.) here, without fear?
Do I really have the FAITH to ask God to bring it on, whatever IT is, if that 'it' is what leads me, my family, my kids, my husband, my friends, or even strangers to acceptance of Christ solidifying their eternity?
Do I have the FAITH to pray for not more than I need that I might not boast and not need Him, or not less than I need so that I won't steal and dishonor Him? To PRAY that I might live humbly paycheck to paycheck - that He would make it so that I would live that way??
Do I have the FAITH to sell/give away anything that makes me too comfortable and self-serving?
Do I have the FAITH to share about Him...even with the odds of being rejected, feeling uncomfortable?
Do I have the FAITH to not be concerned with my health, my pocketbook, my looks, my status, my education, my career, my parenting skills, my CONTROL?
Do I have the FAITH to forgive??
Do I have FAITH??
And if not, why not?
Here's a video from the guy who wrote the book - check it: www.crazylovebook.com/videos_stop.html
I suggest this book, it's in the library (at least where I live)...
