I know most women struggle with their appearance. I catch myself sucking in, straightening this, tweaking that, throwing back my shoulders and pouting my lips from time to time as I pass by mirrors in my house. I know I wish my boobs were bigger, my thighs a little smaller, my eyelashes longer, and my teeth straighter. I'm guilty.
But one of the things that has taken me so long to realize is how much my husband thinks of me. For instance, I have a phobia of wearing bathing suits (who doesn't?), yet my husband tells me how lovely (ok, he might have used the word, "hot") I am in one. Also, I didn't like my hair cut, but out of the blue he'll tell me he thinks it looks nice. And then there's the huge sun blisters I had on my nose this weekend from being out on the lake. My nose looked like it had third degree burns and I caught myself trying to hide my face from him. He told me he thought I looked beautiful as always and came to sit next to me. Is my husband just some super sweet guy? Well, occasionally, yes. But after twelve years together, I think it goes much deeper than that.
Biblically we are supposed to cleave to each other, becoming 'one'. The bible is much more than don't do this or that, or filled with thee and thou phrases that are hard to understand. (I actually got two books explaining passages and a dual version bible for studying. It helps.) But what I've found within the Song of Solomon...whoa! The stuff in here rivals current romance novels! And what I love most about it is it is a vivid representation of what God meant for us in marriage. How much he changes us to cherish one another. Am I really the most beautiful girl in the world like my husband occasionally says? No. Most times I'm not even the prettiest in the room, but I think at times he genuinely feels that way. It's like that movie, "Shallow Hal". Jack Black gets hypnotized and sees only the beauty within people.
I like to think that in some ways marriage can be like that. Not always, there are days when I know I'm not cute, after the third day without a shower and going on two weeks without makeup, but I think as we grow together in marriage, we start to look past that and see what we were meant to see out of love. For instance, who knew I'd ever think a man with so much hair would be the object of my desire? But there you go.
I know marriage has ups and downs, hills and valleys, but working on it day by day, seeking the relationship and all of it's passion and mystery, respect and adoration that God had in mind for us is the true treasure. When I was younger it was explained to me this way: Live your marriage like a triangle. You are on the right bottom corner and your spouse in on the left bottom corner. The only way to truly come together as one (at the top) is to go together toward Christ (which is on the top corner). It's not an everyday win, but the journey you take together is well worth it.
Verses to Ponder: All of Song of Soloman is amazing, but I'll just put some of what the man says to his bride here - you should really read what she says back!!: (The Message)
"Oh, get up, dear friend, my fair and beautiful lover—come to me!
You're so beautiful, my darling, so beautiful, and your dove eyes are veiled by your hair as it flows and shimmers, like a flock of goats in the distance streaming down a hillside in the sunshine. Your smile is generous and full— expressive and strong and clean. Your lips are jewel red, your mouth elegant and inviting, your veiled cheeks soft and radiant. The smooth, lithe lines of your neck command notice—all heads turn in awe and admiration! Your breasts are like fawns, twins of a gazelle, grazing among the first spring flowers.
The sweet, fragrant curves of your body, the soft, spiced contours of your flesh invite me, and I come. I stay until dawn breathes its light and night slips away. You're beautiful from head to toe, my dear love, beautiful beyond compare, absolutely flawless.
The kisses of your lips are honey, my love, every syllable you speak a delicacy to savor.
Body and soul, you are paradise, a whole orchard of succulent fruits-
Your beauty is too much for me—I'm in over my head. I'm not used to this! I can't take it in.
There's no one like her on earth, never has been, never will be. She's a woman beyond compare.
Shapely and graceful your sandaled feet, and queenly your movement—Your limbs are lithe and elegant, the work of a master artist. Your body is a chalice, wine-filled. Your skin is silken and tawny like a field of wheat touched by the breeze. Your breasts are like fawns, twins of a gazelle. Your neck is carved ivory, curved and slender. Your eyes are wells of light, deep with mystery. Quintessentially feminine!
You are tall and supple, like the palm tree, and your full breasts are like sweet clusters of dates. I say, "I'm going to climb that palm tree! I'm going to caress its fruit!" Oh yes! Your breasts will be clusters of sweet fruit to me"
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