Tiny pieces of scrap paper

As Christians we're supposed to 'spread the good news'. This week in VBS we were given info to help us if a child has questions about what they've learned or about beginning a relationship with Christ. I was fine until they brought us 'decision cards' to fill out with just how the conversation went. **GULP** For some reason this now made it real. I could have a real part in the most important decision these kids will ever make. The same is true at Young Life Camp that's coming up. We're supposed to talk to our group one by one by the end of the week to make sure we can help them with anything they are struggling with, or any decisions they are making that week. Again, I think I'm prepared, but if I let my self-doubt creep in, I get kinda scared. And what am I thinking? Worrying makes my complexion horrible.

Aren't I supposed to be able to (and want to) engage in conversation about how to have a relationship with Christ, how to become saved, to be part of His eternity? I tell my kids that all the time, but when I'm faced with doing it, all my insecurities rush in. What if I don't know enough? What if I don't know the answer to their questions? What if I discourage, confuse or cause them to stumble...

In conversation with the other moms recently I overheard them talking about one of their sons going up to another girl in his class who happened to be Jewish. He told her that he was worried about her and he wanted to tell her about Jesus and didn't want her to spend eternity without Him (in Hell). The mom of the little girl was furious and told the teacher who talked with the son's mom, who told the son not to speak about it again at school, or to the girl about it again because it was their religion.

I was caught off guard. At first I thought, isn't he doing what we were called to do? But then I thought, what if it were my child? How would I respond? I know there's the whole church and school debate, but I'm confused as to why my kids can come home with papers describing Kwanzaa and Hanukkah, but discussing the birth of Christ is taboo. Or why Evolution, although a theory, is plastered throughout textbooks, but the alternate 'theory' of creation, is ignored. I'm not saying my kids should be alloted a time to stand on a soap box, but why so much effort to squelch it? Wouldn't it be considered an alternate view, something else to discuss about our diverse cultures? We can respect other's beliefs, but in denying Christian beliefs, hiding and condemning the kids for being open about their faith, even if it's just praying to themselves (my nephew got in trouble for praying over his PB&J at lunch and was called to the office), isn't that disrespecting to Christians? Muslims can leave class to pray several times a day, and schools here still serve just fish on Fridays to those who must eat it alone to respect their beliefs...

Don't get me wrong, I am all for respecting other's beliefs, but to what end? Where do our responsibilities of Christians fit in? I don't believe in standing on a street corner with a bullhorn and telling the general masses they are damned if they don't convert. But I do think that we are supposed to look for and pray for opportunities to share. Why are we so afraid?

I heard about a little boy that visited our church from Russia (I think) recently. Where he lived previously he wasn't allowed to share the message of Christ, the love, hope, faith, forgiveness, grace, mercy and salvation. Did he stop? This little boy spent every waking moment secretly loving and sharing with those around him who didn't know Christ. He began conversations with strangers with simple witnessing questions written on tiny scraps of paper. He faced persecution of sorts with the laws of where he lived and even as a small child, was brave and persistent. When he came here to the church, he was still passing out small papers even though he was now free to share about the God he loved so much, who first loved him.

We're free to share, to love, to not hide and yet we do...I do. I complain about the state of the world, but I'm not doing what I've been called to do, not really, not completely. And I know that He doesn't expect me to be a bible scholar or have all the answers, yet I hide behind my inadequacies. Do I really think that if I'm sharing His love, He won't give me the words to say? I don't know about most, but I'm more likely to listen to someone who is 'real' and has fears and doubts and stumbles just like me than the most perfect witness anyway.

I'm so afraid to 'offend' someone or to be 'persecuted' by my peers, I'm not sharing the wonderful and amazing message of the only One who will ever forgive AND forget, never doubt me, never lose my trust, NEVER ever not love me. And yet, I'm more about catering to everyone else. What am I waiting on? It's not like I'm ever going to get these two minutes back...or these, or those. Do I really need to commit to watching America's Got Talent? I may have worked hard today, but do I really need to relax for two hours? How many hours have been about finding my own contentment? What are my real priorities? If you think about it, I'm running out of time. I'm so worried about what the world thinks and what really matters is one day when I stand before Him, I might be hearing the words, "Well done, my good and faithful servant."

It breaks my heart and it's something I'm going to be brave to change. Maybe I'll start with tiny pieces of scrap paper.

Verses to Ponder:

Luke 11:33 (The Message) No one, when he has lit a lamp, puts it in a secret place or under a basket, but on a lampstand, that those who come in may see the light.

Psalm 104:33 (NKJV) I will sing to the Lord as long as I live; I will sing praise to my God while I have my being.