One awesome thing about my OBGYN is that when I chose her, her office was 6 minutes from my house. Then she moved a city over and a whole lot further west. Now it takes me over 35 minutes to get to her office. The first time I went, I didn't know where I was going (which isn't a huge surprise seeing as how I'm so directionally challenged and all). So I plugged in the office address into my iphone maps app and started driving. It was so far away that I didn't see the red dot (destination) at all on my map, not even when I was at a stop light and realized that if I went just a little farther north, like less than 10 minutes, I'd be in HIS neck of the woods - let me clarify, practically in his backyard. I only know where this person lives because of when he tried to contact me. Now, thanks to my mom's lawyer, I know the color of his bushes (well, not really, but I know a lot). I started to feel anxious.
At first my body started shaking, as it tends to do with a 'trigger' like this, next WOULD be vomiting. But I just started praying, and then worshiping (singing) loud as I drove. I then told God that if He needed me to see this person, that if it would be for His will - that I wasn't scared (I didn't want to be anyway), because I knew He was with me; He was in control, and by the sheer fact of who He is - His plans and best intentions are better than mine. I told Him if He needed the worst to happen to fulfill His purpose, then....bring the rain. As the words from my heart poured out - my good sense was screaming internally to SHUT UP! But I went through with it and followed the purple line on my phone app literally into the lion's den.
Fast forward to last week. Making the drive gets easier every time, I find that I'm not anxious at all now. But when I arrived at my OBGYN early, I sat in the car and let my curiosity run rampant. Let's just see HOW far exactly I am from his house at this moment. So I turned on my handy-dandy Maps app and plugged in the two points with anticipation. What happened next shocked me as it's never happened before, and also made me feel like a child who's parent lovingly said, "No, sweetheart, you know that will do nothing good for you," as they protected me from potential hurt. I plugged in the two points and my map said:
"Transit route cannot be calculated between two points"
What? I thumped the side of the phone in my hand like it was some 80's computer monitor, turned off the app and on again (yeah..I'm stubborn) and tried it again. Same result.
I loved that moment in car - just me and God and the gentle guidance that showed that I don't need to go there. I just need to trust as I prayed for His leading, that He actually is IN CONTROL. Not me...
SHOCKER! :)
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