Today the kids and I washed my car. Honestly, it wasn't the fun time I thought it would be, but my car is shiny! We went to the pool right after. My son is just a little fish now! He's jumping in the deep end. My daughter was still terrified. She even said she just wanted to go home instead of coming off of the first step. But I convinced her to stay. It took two hours and after crying (her) and begging (me) she accidentally let go of me wearing her pink arm floaties. She was so surprised that nothing happened! I convinced her to try again and after another half hour she finally did. Then she would get scared and look down and flounder and swallow water. I caught myself saying, "Look up, look at my face. Look only at me, nothing else matters. It's going to be okay. If you fall, or something happens, I'm right here, I'll get you, I'll pick you up and help you. You don't have to be afraid, I'm right here." I said it over and over and over again, and yet she still would have times of panic and struggle against me and make matters worse.
HA! Just like me!! How many times has my Father said the same thing to me? How many times has he just waited for me to turn to him and focus only on His face??
I know I've talked about it over and over before, but I feel like He's teaching it to me over and over again, just like I kept saying it to my daughter over and over.
It's like when my son was saved. We went to speak with our children's pastor at church and I sat back and let them talk. The children's pastor asked him a lot of questions to make sure he knew just what was going on, and that the decision was truly his. One of the questions he asked in conversation was, "What do you think will happen if you don't talk to God (meaning praying and reading His word)?" My son said, "I won't know his voice." The children's pastor and I were both floored! It's completely true, when I turn my eyes away, turn away my focus from Him, create distance (for He is always there, it's me that left), and I won't recognize His voice.
Look down, doubt, fear, stumble, flounder and fall. He's just waiting patiently for me to turn my eyes to Him, even if I'm stubborn and forget, or deny Him time and time again.
My daughter is now so proud of herself. We went swimming again this evening with her dad so she could show him how she could swim. And my son learned how to do a cannonball. It was awesome.
Verse to Ponder: Proverbs 3:25, 26 (NKJV) Do not be afraid of sudden terror, Nor of trouble from the wicked when it comes; For the Lord will be your confidence, And will keep your foot from being caught.
Friday, June 27, 2008
Thursday, June 26, 2008
Choices
I know in studying I'm starting to learn more about good stuff in, good stuff out. I also know that the pull of the 'old' me is very strong, and it takes a DAILY (sometimes hourly) effort to refocus myself. But last night I was watching Spiderman 3. (I know, I know, I watch a lot of movies, but they make for good blog ideas, right?) And somewhere near the end (spoiler alert) Spiderman is talking to one of the bad guys about choices. He says that no matter what, everyone has a choice.
It got me thinking. Biblically, I know that it says we are ALL born into sin. This throws out of the water what we as a society generally feel that most people are inherently good. I fall into that mindset too, and I've been hurt by it greatly. The truth is though, that we are all born into evil. To say that "I don't murder" or "I don't do what that other guy does" is lying to ourselves, because biblically, we are ALL sinners, each of us, every day. To Him a sin is a sin is a sin.
(Because of this sin, we are all destined to live an eternity apart from Him. But through salvation, we can be made new and live with Him in eternity and in our walk here on this planet.)
So it's all about choice. Everyday I have a choice, and some days, most days, I fail. I catch myself thinking about things I know are wrong, in some small way wanting to be part of the worldliness I used to live for, letting myself be quick to anger, telling even the smallest of white lies on purpose. I have my giants (previous blog), but I know that if I keep focusing on Him, keep studying, keep myself on track, I will have the armor I need to fight the battle. I know I won't always win, and unlike myself, I know if I turn to Him and ask for forgiveness and strength, He will grant it.
I think about these choices from another view these days. I remember several years ago a friend of mine told me that her husband had made the choice to never drink again, not even casually. The first thought I had was WHY? Not even a glass of wine here or there? His point wasn't that alcohol in itself was the problem, but that he didn't want it to lead to excessiveness, or to cause another person to stumble in their walk. I still thought, I could never do that. I know it fits into what most people (myself even recently) would think that having a walk with Christ is about, too many rules, too much to give away. But now, I'm slowly starting to understand. There is so much in return, so much more of a fulfillment with a growing walk with Christ that you don't want to make changes in your life because you 'have to', but because you want too. Things you never thought of as stumbling blocks for yourself, or for those around you, become clear. Your choices start to change because those things just don't matter anymore, and in their place is so much more.
I like the show House. Mostly because of the main character, Dr. House. His genius is awe inspiring, even when his mouthful of sarcasm makes you want cheer on the other players. It's his mounting flaws and struggle with 'Is there a God?' that make you drawn to him. He said something in one episode that stuck with me, "Life is a series of rooms. It's not the rooms that define you, it's what you choose to do in them."
It's all about choice. Everyday is a new day. I try, I make a bad choice, I fall, I learn, I ask for forgiveness and I try again. I make new choices. I make different choices.
Verse to Ponder: Colossians 3:22-24 (NKJV) And whatever you do, do it heartily, as to the Lord and not to men, knowing that from the Lord you will receive the reward of the inheritance; for you serve the Lord Christ.
It got me thinking. Biblically, I know that it says we are ALL born into sin. This throws out of the water what we as a society generally feel that most people are inherently good. I fall into that mindset too, and I've been hurt by it greatly. The truth is though, that we are all born into evil. To say that "I don't murder" or "I don't do what that other guy does" is lying to ourselves, because biblically, we are ALL sinners, each of us, every day. To Him a sin is a sin is a sin.
(Because of this sin, we are all destined to live an eternity apart from Him. But through salvation, we can be made new and live with Him in eternity and in our walk here on this planet.)
So it's all about choice. Everyday I have a choice, and some days, most days, I fail. I catch myself thinking about things I know are wrong, in some small way wanting to be part of the worldliness I used to live for, letting myself be quick to anger, telling even the smallest of white lies on purpose. I have my giants (previous blog), but I know that if I keep focusing on Him, keep studying, keep myself on track, I will have the armor I need to fight the battle. I know I won't always win, and unlike myself, I know if I turn to Him and ask for forgiveness and strength, He will grant it.
I think about these choices from another view these days. I remember several years ago a friend of mine told me that her husband had made the choice to never drink again, not even casually. The first thought I had was WHY? Not even a glass of wine here or there? His point wasn't that alcohol in itself was the problem, but that he didn't want it to lead to excessiveness, or to cause another person to stumble in their walk. I still thought, I could never do that. I know it fits into what most people (myself even recently) would think that having a walk with Christ is about, too many rules, too much to give away. But now, I'm slowly starting to understand. There is so much in return, so much more of a fulfillment with a growing walk with Christ that you don't want to make changes in your life because you 'have to', but because you want too. Things you never thought of as stumbling blocks for yourself, or for those around you, become clear. Your choices start to change because those things just don't matter anymore, and in their place is so much more.
I like the show House. Mostly because of the main character, Dr. House. His genius is awe inspiring, even when his mouthful of sarcasm makes you want cheer on the other players. It's his mounting flaws and struggle with 'Is there a God?' that make you drawn to him. He said something in one episode that stuck with me, "Life is a series of rooms. It's not the rooms that define you, it's what you choose to do in them."
It's all about choice. Everyday is a new day. I try, I make a bad choice, I fall, I learn, I ask for forgiveness and I try again. I make new choices. I make different choices.
Verse to Ponder: Colossians 3:22-24 (NKJV) And whatever you do, do it heartily, as to the Lord and not to men, knowing that from the Lord you will receive the reward of the inheritance; for you serve the Lord Christ.
Wednesday, June 25, 2008
Flare
My mom came home from her Chicago trip safe (phew!) and brought lots of goodies too. Another big answer to prayer came today for my younglife directors and their pregnancy, and we got a cabin we thought we weren't going to be able too for our leader retreat. I just feel like answers to prayer are coming in abundance. I know it isn't always like this, but it seems like the closer I am in my walk with Him, the easier it is to see Him. The more I turn to Him, the more ways He will find to reward me.
I know in my life I often second guess Him, or short-change His awesomeness and rely on myself. But He is the beginning and the end, I know that my human mind can't even wrap itself around His greatness. And He cares about me, ME! Little 'ole me.
One of the things my mom brought back from her trip was buttons she got at her HR conference. As we were unpacking them from the bag we were all amazed at how they seemed to be made thinking of Him. I thought how funny it would be to see Jesus with a backpack on, or like those guys at T.G.I.Fridays with 'flare' on their suspenders. What would it look like if He had flare on? Well, here's a taste... (Click on the image below for a larger view!)
Verse to Ponder: Revelation 19:16 (NIV) On his robe and on his thigh he has this name written: KING OF KINGS AND LORD OF LORDS.
I know in my life I often second guess Him, or short-change His awesomeness and rely on myself. But He is the beginning and the end, I know that my human mind can't even wrap itself around His greatness. And He cares about me, ME! Little 'ole me.
One of the things my mom brought back from her trip was buttons she got at her HR conference. As we were unpacking them from the bag we were all amazed at how they seemed to be made thinking of Him. I thought how funny it would be to see Jesus with a backpack on, or like those guys at T.G.I.Fridays with 'flare' on their suspenders. What would it look like if He had flare on? Well, here's a taste... (Click on the image below for a larger view!)
Verse to Ponder: Revelation 19:16 (NIV) On his robe and on his thigh he has this name written: KING OF KINGS AND LORD OF LORDS.
Tuesday, June 24, 2008
I was made for you...
I know most women struggle with their appearance. I catch myself sucking in, straightening this, tweaking that, throwing back my shoulders and pouting my lips from time to time as I pass by mirrors in my house. I know I wish my boobs were bigger, my thighs a little smaller, my eyelashes longer, and my teeth straighter. I'm guilty.
But one of the things that has taken me so long to realize is how much my husband thinks of me. For instance, I have a phobia of wearing bathing suits (who doesn't?), yet my husband tells me how lovely (ok, he might have used the word, "hot") I am in one. Also, I didn't like my hair cut, but out of the blue he'll tell me he thinks it looks nice. And then there's the huge sun blisters I had on my nose this weekend from being out on the lake. My nose looked like it had third degree burns and I caught myself trying to hide my face from him. He told me he thought I looked beautiful as always and came to sit next to me. Is my husband just some super sweet guy? Well, occasionally, yes. But after twelve years together, I think it goes much deeper than that.
Biblically we are supposed to cleave to each other, becoming 'one'. The bible is much more than don't do this or that, or filled with thee and thou phrases that are hard to understand. (I actually got two books explaining passages and a dual version bible for studying. It helps.) But what I've found within the Song of Solomon...whoa! The stuff in here rivals current romance novels! And what I love most about it is it is a vivid representation of what God meant for us in marriage. How much he changes us to cherish one another. Am I really the most beautiful girl in the world like my husband occasionally says? No. Most times I'm not even the prettiest in the room, but I think at times he genuinely feels that way. It's like that movie, "Shallow Hal". Jack Black gets hypnotized and sees only the beauty within people.
I like to think that in some ways marriage can be like that. Not always, there are days when I know I'm not cute, after the third day without a shower and going on two weeks without makeup, but I think as we grow together in marriage, we start to look past that and see what we were meant to see out of love. For instance, who knew I'd ever think a man with so much hair would be the object of my desire? But there you go.
I know marriage has ups and downs, hills and valleys, but working on it day by day, seeking the relationship and all of it's passion and mystery, respect and adoration that God had in mind for us is the true treasure. When I was younger it was explained to me this way: Live your marriage like a triangle. You are on the right bottom corner and your spouse in on the left bottom corner. The only way to truly come together as one (at the top) is to go together toward Christ (which is on the top corner). It's not an everyday win, but the journey you take together is well worth it.
Verses to Ponder: All of Song of Soloman is amazing, but I'll just put some of what the man says to his bride here - you should really read what she says back!!: (The Message)
"Oh, get up, dear friend, my fair and beautiful lover—come to me!
You're so beautiful, my darling, so beautiful, and your dove eyes are veiled by your hair as it flows and shimmers, like a flock of goats in the distance streaming down a hillside in the sunshine. Your smile is generous and full— expressive and strong and clean. Your lips are jewel red, your mouth elegant and inviting, your veiled cheeks soft and radiant. The smooth, lithe lines of your neck command notice—all heads turn in awe and admiration! Your breasts are like fawns, twins of a gazelle, grazing among the first spring flowers.
The sweet, fragrant curves of your body, the soft, spiced contours of your flesh invite me, and I come. I stay until dawn breathes its light and night slips away. You're beautiful from head to toe, my dear love, beautiful beyond compare, absolutely flawless.
The kisses of your lips are honey, my love, every syllable you speak a delicacy to savor.
Body and soul, you are paradise, a whole orchard of succulent fruits-
Your beauty is too much for me—I'm in over my head. I'm not used to this! I can't take it in.
There's no one like her on earth, never has been, never will be. She's a woman beyond compare.
Shapely and graceful your sandaled feet, and queenly your movement—Your limbs are lithe and elegant, the work of a master artist. Your body is a chalice, wine-filled. Your skin is silken and tawny like a field of wheat touched by the breeze. Your breasts are like fawns, twins of a gazelle. Your neck is carved ivory, curved and slender. Your eyes are wells of light, deep with mystery. Quintessentially feminine!
You are tall and supple, like the palm tree, and your full breasts are like sweet clusters of dates. I say, "I'm going to climb that palm tree! I'm going to caress its fruit!" Oh yes! Your breasts will be clusters of sweet fruit to me"
But one of the things that has taken me so long to realize is how much my husband thinks of me. For instance, I have a phobia of wearing bathing suits (who doesn't?), yet my husband tells me how lovely (ok, he might have used the word, "hot") I am in one. Also, I didn't like my hair cut, but out of the blue he'll tell me he thinks it looks nice. And then there's the huge sun blisters I had on my nose this weekend from being out on the lake. My nose looked like it had third degree burns and I caught myself trying to hide my face from him. He told me he thought I looked beautiful as always and came to sit next to me. Is my husband just some super sweet guy? Well, occasionally, yes. But after twelve years together, I think it goes much deeper than that.
Biblically we are supposed to cleave to each other, becoming 'one'. The bible is much more than don't do this or that, or filled with thee and thou phrases that are hard to understand. (I actually got two books explaining passages and a dual version bible for studying. It helps.) But what I've found within the Song of Solomon...whoa! The stuff in here rivals current romance novels! And what I love most about it is it is a vivid representation of what God meant for us in marriage. How much he changes us to cherish one another. Am I really the most beautiful girl in the world like my husband occasionally says? No. Most times I'm not even the prettiest in the room, but I think at times he genuinely feels that way. It's like that movie, "Shallow Hal". Jack Black gets hypnotized and sees only the beauty within people.
I like to think that in some ways marriage can be like that. Not always, there are days when I know I'm not cute, after the third day without a shower and going on two weeks without makeup, but I think as we grow together in marriage, we start to look past that and see what we were meant to see out of love. For instance, who knew I'd ever think a man with so much hair would be the object of my desire? But there you go.
I know marriage has ups and downs, hills and valleys, but working on it day by day, seeking the relationship and all of it's passion and mystery, respect and adoration that God had in mind for us is the true treasure. When I was younger it was explained to me this way: Live your marriage like a triangle. You are on the right bottom corner and your spouse in on the left bottom corner. The only way to truly come together as one (at the top) is to go together toward Christ (which is on the top corner). It's not an everyday win, but the journey you take together is well worth it.
Verses to Ponder: All of Song of Soloman is amazing, but I'll just put some of what the man says to his bride here - you should really read what she says back!!: (The Message)
"Oh, get up, dear friend, my fair and beautiful lover—come to me!
You're so beautiful, my darling, so beautiful, and your dove eyes are veiled by your hair as it flows and shimmers, like a flock of goats in the distance streaming down a hillside in the sunshine. Your smile is generous and full— expressive and strong and clean. Your lips are jewel red, your mouth elegant and inviting, your veiled cheeks soft and radiant. The smooth, lithe lines of your neck command notice—all heads turn in awe and admiration! Your breasts are like fawns, twins of a gazelle, grazing among the first spring flowers.
The sweet, fragrant curves of your body, the soft, spiced contours of your flesh invite me, and I come. I stay until dawn breathes its light and night slips away. You're beautiful from head to toe, my dear love, beautiful beyond compare, absolutely flawless.
The kisses of your lips are honey, my love, every syllable you speak a delicacy to savor.
Body and soul, you are paradise, a whole orchard of succulent fruits-
Your beauty is too much for me—I'm in over my head. I'm not used to this! I can't take it in.
There's no one like her on earth, never has been, never will be. She's a woman beyond compare.
Shapely and graceful your sandaled feet, and queenly your movement—Your limbs are lithe and elegant, the work of a master artist. Your body is a chalice, wine-filled. Your skin is silken and tawny like a field of wheat touched by the breeze. Your breasts are like fawns, twins of a gazelle. Your neck is carved ivory, curved and slender. Your eyes are wells of light, deep with mystery. Quintessentially feminine!
You are tall and supple, like the palm tree, and your full breasts are like sweet clusters of dates. I say, "I'm going to climb that palm tree! I'm going to caress its fruit!" Oh yes! Your breasts will be clusters of sweet fruit to me"
Monday, June 23, 2008
I am reminded...
In the last few days I have been reminded about how much older I am getting. I've been accused of not being adventurous anymore..."ten years ago you would have been all over this! What happened to you? You used to be adventurous!" Yeah, yeah, I know. But things are different when you have kids. Doing crazy things carries much bigger consequences. Also, when that desire to do the things I used to do, wild, crazy and 'adventurous' things, has been squashed for so long, when every time you bring it up, you get told you aren't a kid, well, after a while you believe it. Until the same person who laughs or asks if you are serious when you mention you want to do the fun stuff you used to in turn tells you that you used to be adventurous and asks what happened? It reminds you just how much you have changed.
I guess this is what some could consider a 'quarter-life crisis'. But I don't feel that I'm necessarily missing anything, my life is very fulfilling. But, yes, every now and again I want to go to six flags, I want to bungee, or travel just to get the stamp on my passport, to sky dive, to scuba dive, to race fast cars, to go go karting, to learn how to snow board, to go to a concert, learn how to shoot a gun, to dress up on Halloween...so sue me.
I'm going to work on getting my adventure back. I know I don't really miss it often, but when I do, I do. And I'm tired of being made to feel dumb for wanting to do those things, and when I don't step up to the plate I'm told I'm not adventurous and not the girl I used to be. I believe that God wants us to enjoy what we have here, experience and taste life, within reason, within the limits that have been set for us.
SO, this past weekend I tried wakeboarding. I will admit it, I was a bit chicken at first (yes, very out of character for the 'old' me), but I did it. Here's a recap:
1. Get in the water with wakeboard on feet and hold the rope.
2. My husband guns it, rope gets yanked out of my hands, shoulders feel like they have been ripped off.
3. Wakeboard rips to the left and I slam face forward under a wave for a mouth and nose full of ethanol, fish poo, power plant runoff and visitor's litter infused with dirt filled lake water.
4. It BURNS!
5. REPEAT 10xs.
I never got out of the water, not even close. He'd gun it, and my arms tried to rip off and that was it. Several times, took about 3 seconds each. My husband kept telling me that gunning it was the way he and his buddy did it, and was the 'only' way to do it...I kept reminding him I'm only about a buck twelve, not a full grown (and then some) adult male.
Oh well, I'll try it again next weekend if we can get a sitter...and maybe another driver. :)
Here's the verse for today. I've mentioned it before, but I like it. I am reminded by it that I can live life through Him to the fullest, no matter what anyone else says, or how they make me feel.
Verse to Ponder: John 10:10 (NIV) The thief comes only to steal and kill and destroy; I have come that they may have life, and have it to the full.
I guess this is what some could consider a 'quarter-life crisis'. But I don't feel that I'm necessarily missing anything, my life is very fulfilling. But, yes, every now and again I want to go to six flags, I want to bungee, or travel just to get the stamp on my passport, to sky dive, to scuba dive, to race fast cars, to go go karting, to learn how to snow board, to go to a concert, learn how to shoot a gun, to dress up on Halloween...so sue me.
I'm going to work on getting my adventure back. I know I don't really miss it often, but when I do, I do. And I'm tired of being made to feel dumb for wanting to do those things, and when I don't step up to the plate I'm told I'm not adventurous and not the girl I used to be. I believe that God wants us to enjoy what we have here, experience and taste life, within reason, within the limits that have been set for us.
SO, this past weekend I tried wakeboarding. I will admit it, I was a bit chicken at first (yes, very out of character for the 'old' me), but I did it. Here's a recap:
1. Get in the water with wakeboard on feet and hold the rope.
2. My husband guns it, rope gets yanked out of my hands, shoulders feel like they have been ripped off.
3. Wakeboard rips to the left and I slam face forward under a wave for a mouth and nose full of ethanol, fish poo, power plant runoff and visitor's litter infused with dirt filled lake water.
4. It BURNS!
5. REPEAT 10xs.
I never got out of the water, not even close. He'd gun it, and my arms tried to rip off and that was it. Several times, took about 3 seconds each. My husband kept telling me that gunning it was the way he and his buddy did it, and was the 'only' way to do it...I kept reminding him I'm only about a buck twelve, not a full grown (and then some) adult male.
Oh well, I'll try it again next weekend if we can get a sitter...and maybe another driver. :)
Here's the verse for today. I've mentioned it before, but I like it. I am reminded by it that I can live life through Him to the fullest, no matter what anyone else says, or how they make me feel.
Verse to Ponder: John 10:10 (NIV) The thief comes only to steal and kill and destroy; I have come that they may have life, and have it to the full.
Friday, June 20, 2008
It's over...
Well, VBS week is finally over. I say finally, because I'm exhausted, but really, I'm going to miss it. I was never so able to freely talk with my kids about what they learned, what they thought, questions they had, because I had been there right in the action with what they were taught and what they experienced. Just because of that, I will do it again next year. I also saw many kids every day and today as we were winding down they started to open up about what they learned and drew pictures about what "Serving Jesus" (theme of the week, serving Jesus through serving your neighbors, family, friends and community) means to them. I made some new friendships and overall had a pretty good time.
Now it's on to Young Life Camp. It's only a couple weeks away and I'm getting anxious. I know from what I've heard that it is life changing, not only to the kids, but to us as leaders as well. I've grown so much lately through study and reflection, that I'm excited to lead into this adventure as well. Just hope I don't break anything!! I'm going wakeboarding for the first time this weekend to try and practice for the trip.
I've stalled at $550 for the one kid I'm helping to send to camp. Today they added a new fundraiser online and I'm going to keep going with my efforts through selling stuff on Craigslist.
My mom is in Chicago, and I'm not gonna lie, I'm nervous. But I know to just keep praying. My sister has decided what she is going to do for school next year and I think it's a very smart move. My dad is recovering well from his surgery, and we are all thankful for that!
It's been a pretty good week!
Oh, and I know I've mentioned the lyrics to this song before, but it's just SO beautiful, I found a link to hear it! (What did I do before YouTube???)
Now it's on to Young Life Camp. It's only a couple weeks away and I'm getting anxious. I know from what I've heard that it is life changing, not only to the kids, but to us as leaders as well. I've grown so much lately through study and reflection, that I'm excited to lead into this adventure as well. Just hope I don't break anything!! I'm going wakeboarding for the first time this weekend to try and practice for the trip.
I've stalled at $550 for the one kid I'm helping to send to camp. Today they added a new fundraiser online and I'm going to keep going with my efforts through selling stuff on Craigslist.
My mom is in Chicago, and I'm not gonna lie, I'm nervous. But I know to just keep praying. My sister has decided what she is going to do for school next year and I think it's a very smart move. My dad is recovering well from his surgery, and we are all thankful for that!
It's been a pretty good week!
Oh, and I know I've mentioned the lyrics to this song before, but it's just SO beautiful, I found a link to hear it! (What did I do before YouTube???)
Thursday, June 19, 2008
We gonna have CHURCH up in here!!
I love it when we have upbeat gospel at our church, it's so exciting to worship that way.
One of my favorite comedians is Steve Harvey, he was on TV on a Sitcom for a while, and did the Kings of Comedy tour and movie. I think he has a radio show now in Dallas.
I just stumbled on this clip today on You Tube. He talks about if he was to given the opportunity to announce Jesus to come onto the stage, this is how he would do it. I think it's pretty cool. Especially the crowd of thousands on their feet! Wouldn't that be amazing if I really was the one in charge of announcing him?!
One of my favorite comedians is Steve Harvey, he was on TV on a Sitcom for a while, and did the Kings of Comedy tour and movie. I think he has a radio show now in Dallas.
I just stumbled on this clip today on You Tube. He talks about if he was to given the opportunity to announce Jesus to come onto the stage, this is how he would do it. I think it's pretty cool. Especially the crowd of thousands on their feet! Wouldn't that be amazing if I really was the one in charge of announcing him?!
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