Patience

K, so I don't have the virtue of patience. I never have. In fact, it's almost comical the lack of patience I have.

Now I see it in my kids. Oops. Genetics? Example? Both, probably.

There are several things that try my patience most days:

driving - not a fan, I'm still waiting on the Star Trek teleporter

waiting in line anywhere - usually it's with my littlest in tow, running around and hiding while I'm trying to keep my place in line, or I get to hear, "Mommy, mommy, mommy, mom, mom, MOM! I'm hungry, I'm sleepy, I need to go potty (again), I want to go home, I don't want too, I don't like it, I told you I was hungry!!!"

But sometimes, it's bigger things. In the past it was, please make this pain go away, please help marriage to be stronger, please help my friend to get better, please let me get that job! And then more recently, it's been please show me my purpose. I would pray over and over and over again waiting for the insta-answer, and after not receiving it, I would be prone to give up.

Give me the opportunity to be patient.

But I'm learning. I'm learning LOTS these days. No, I'm not more patient in the everyday stuff yet, but I'm catching myself in those instances, the opportunities to practice patience, and I'm redirecting myself.

Instead of "I TOLD YOU I WAS HUNGRY!" I'm more like, "I know you know the plan for me, so I'm going to do my best to wait." I'm less anxious this way. I'm also less stressed.

I HAVE SLEPT THE LAST TWO NIGHTS IN A ROW WITHOUT THE HELP OF ANY MEDS!!! This is the first time in years. Even recently I felt my patience crumble as I was praying all night to go to sleep because I had waited too long to take my meds and had to wait it out. I didn't sleep. I was expecting instant sleep I guess, and I got frustrated that my wish was granted. But now, I've continued to pray and wait and for TWO NIGHTS IN A ROW, I've slept.

Being patient feels like we're being tested. I know this happens to a lot of people. I've heard those close to me say: "I keep waiting, but I wish I just knew the answer. I wish things would just get better already. I wish I could just get that job, or find the guy I'm supposed to be with. I'm tired of waiting." Oh, my kindred spirits!!

I think this, like most things take time to learn, and time for our habits to change. Learning to have patience TAKES patience!!!

Verses to ponder: James 1:2-4 (NLV) 2 My Christian brothers, you should be happy when you have all kinds of tests. 3 You know these prove your faith. It helps you not to give up. 4 Learn well how to wait so you will be strong and complete and in need of nothing.

Psalm 27:14 (NKJV): Wait on the LORD; Be of good courage, And He shall strengthen your heart; Wait, I say, on the LORD!

Psalm 40:1 (The Message) I waited and waited and waited for God. At last he looked; finally he listened. He lifted me out of the ditch, pulled me from deep mud. He stood me up on a solid rock to make sure I wouldn't slip.