THE Night

So today we woke up had club in the morning where we got to hear more pieces of the 6 tell their stories. I got to steal away with a girl that I had wanted to get to know, but hadn't had the chance. I didn't know any of the girls before the trip, but this girl was just on my mind the whole week. As she spoke, I felt tears in my eyes because I knew God had put me there, had kept this girl on my mind, for this conversation. She spoke as if she was me a decade ago, with one of the major trials I dealt with, down to the littlest detail, and I was blown away. I got to thinking that this was one reason why I went through what I did, so I could be the one that finally understood what she was going through. I started to think that He knew that ten years later I would be meeting this girl. He knew what she had to say would heal me as much as I would ever begin to try and help her.

We ate lunch outside that day, it was beautiful. We had free time again at the beach too.

That night before we went to club again we had a leader meeting/worship time. It was an amazing experience, as they prepared us for what would be talked about that night, it all started to sink in. Then as we prayed, they asked us to say aloud, with our heads bowed, the names of the kids we thought needed to hear what was going to be said, those that we were concerned for. I was so overwhelmed in that moment, hearing all the area leaders whisper the names. I started to feel so humbled that I was chosen to be there; that my purpose was to be His hands and feet with these girls. I didn't want to fail them! I was so overwhelmed with how much I had begun to care for the girls in such a short amount of time. I knew it was God.I thought about those girls that had shared their stories with me, and how eerily similar some of the details were to my life and how crazy similar their response and feelings they had was to what I did, or how I reacted. I realized that this night these beautiful children of God could forever have their lives changed, and how odd it was that I was chosen to be here, to be part of it - how God made my past and their present intertwine, and how in that moment I realized I was healing too. I was knowing and growing more. My heart literally broke and opened up for what that meant, how unbelievable what being there at that camp meant for the girls and for me. I couldn't help it, I started crying. I was silent, but I was so consumed by all of it and that the bottom line was it was love. I have had the hardest time coming to terms with things in my life, some of which never made sense until that moment crying listening to the names of those kids being washed over with prayer. I tried desperately to stop, because I didn't think I'd be able to explain what I felt to those around me and I didn't want the attention to be on me. So I kept wiping my eyes and swallowing hard and finally, with red eyes, I got it together, just in time to hear our city director sobbing uncontrollably beside me. When we opened our eyes he still couldn't control his tears and emotion. The other leaders around me whispered that in 4 years, they had never seen him cry. He just told us how much he cared for us, and for these kids and this night's talk is what the last 4 years had been leading up too.
hands and then sank again under his weight. A crown of thorns, mocking him, had been pushed down into his scalp. He stood in front of everyone naked. The speaker talked about how it took several hours for him to die.So, the speaker spoke that evening in club. He talked about how Christ intersected our story. Our path was on a downhill line headed for death. Jesus intersected our story, humanities story, in a horizontal line that never ends. He came with the promise to heal, free and release us, to make all things new, to rescue what is lost and to give us life to the full - all things answered. Jesus absorbed our depravity - all of it - took it on and defeated it. He remained God centered the whole time but took on our self centered stuff. The speaker went into detail about the 39? leather lashings that when they struck Jesus marked him, but also pulled away flesh. He talked about how heavy the cross was for him to carry uphill, after he had been beaten until he was unrecognizable, so heavy he couldn't carry it. He talked about how on the cross his wrists held the nail between the bones and to breathe, he had to lift himself up against the wounds of hisHe told us how God sent his son, to take on everything that we would ever have to face: embarrassment, harassment, physical pain, trauma, loss, persecution, etc. all in one event. Just before his death he said, "It is finished." After all they did to him, all he took on, he was saying that from that moment on, it would be different. It is finished once and for all - we can't do it, it's done. The speaker told about how he defeated death, because he was alive again, in the flesh three days later. He also said that you can't give what you don't have. Jesus was perfect, took on everything we will ever face, and defeated death. He gave us the offer of eternal life because he had it to give.

After the talk the kids were told to be silent and go be alone on the grounds to have 15 minutes quietly by themselves. Some would just sit and think, others would pray for the first time, others would finally understand what they've heard before, others would start to acknowledge and accept what they now knew. I went back to the cabin, I was still so overwhelmed by the way the speaker told it, like I was understanding it, really, for the first time. To see all the kids across the grounds...I went back to the cabin and prayed over each bunk, for each girl I already cared so much for, and for me, to be what He needed for them. Back outside, the staff started singing from all sides of the campus, "Amazing Love, how can it be..." The kids came back to the cabin that night, and for some it was just the beginning.

Sunset at Camp
In the leader devotional for that morning it read:

"The primary reason I've struggled with the love of God is the simple fact that it's like no other love I've ever known. All the other love I've encountered has had something to do with me. My actions somehow preceded the love and proved it conditional. I may have been loved because of my reputation, my possessions, or my talents. But being loved by God is different. His love is unique in that it has nothing to do with me. God hasn't chosen to love me b because of things about me that he finds lovable. God's love has everything to do with what's true about God. It is God's nature to love, and so God loves me naturally." (Fil Anderson in Running on Empty)

Verse to Ponder: I John 5:11 (NIV) And this is the testimony: God has given us eternal life, and this life is in his Son.