So it's been a weird couple of weeks, busy wouldn't begin to describe it. I don't feel like I'm stressed out, because the only pressure on myself is from me, but I honestly feel like too much is going in too quickly and my brain can't contain it all. I have been forgetting things right and left...even words!! uh, yeah..."that thing, that thing you sit in...you know...uggg!" "Chair?" "Yes! Chair, that's it!" And of course it all starts falling out of my ear at about 2am when I wake up in a cold sweat, sit straight up and scream, "applesauce!" because I forgot to get it at the store. K, maybe stressed would be a good word to use. :) With YL Banquet, taking on this new staff position, a concert event I've been planning, plus club and helping leaders and committee, plus bible study, soccer (x5/wk), gymnastics, church, MOPS, volunteering at the school (x2/wk), kid's choir, plus my husband is usually MIA because of work...it's just a lot.
My daughter's bday is this weekend too, and I feel like I'm forgetting to do something big, but I can't put my finger on it. But as long as there is cake she'll be...OH CRAP, CAKE!!!!!
Ha. just kidding.
But poor thing stepped in an ant-bed last week at school and because she's so allergic, she had to miss two days of school. It's so much better now, but her foot looks like she's had the measles. :(
Well, and then on Sunday nite coming back from kid's choir we got rear-ended. Guy just drove up underneath my car. I just got a scratched up bumper with his paint smeared everywhere, but bless his heart he came out of it with a crushed hood, smashed grill and passenger door that wouldn't open. I think it was a brand new infiniti too. Bummer of a way to squash $50k. Hopefully the insurance will all work out without anything going wrong.
But my stress and the events of this past week, plus my father in law is back in the hospital for his colon, my son asked me the other day why all of this was happening, and he gave me his thoughts on it.
The other night I just couldn't sleep so I stayed up surfing the boob tube and found this guy, Joel Osteen. I was hooked, but I'm assuming at 3am an infomercial for one of those boob-enlarging creams would have kept my focus just as much. But God didn't stall me on the boob cream channel, but this one and the message was great. It spoke about how we can sometimes feel that we are limited by things that have happened to us, or maybe even things we were born with. We think of them as liabilities, but when we give them to God, they can become assets.
I know in my life I can look at all that may be tumbling around me at any given time and say, "I can't." because of what I'm dealing with. But I know that He can restore and use anything for His glory.
So, I'm going to take my flatulent brain, my daughters beautiful bumpy foot and get in my scratched and dented car and do what I know He wants me too, whatever that may be. And the conversations with my son about topics like these always gives me more than I came to the table with. I know sometimes with the way my mind works I start to think stuff like this happens because of what I've done...or haven't done. But my son, in his wise age of 9 helped me to remember that God is trying to train us, trying to get us ready to use us and we shouldn't be scared about bad things happening. He's right.
Verse to ponder: John 9:3 - "Neither this man nor his parents sinned," said Jesus, "but this happened so that the work of God might be displayed in his life.
Tuesday, October 21, 2008
Tuesday, October 14, 2008
Gasoline and The Book of Mormon
So last week I was at the gas station. It wasn't my best of mornings, I'll admit, due to lack of make-up, no shower and wearing whatever covered me just to get in and out of the house quickly for this task. And wouldn't you know it, there I was trying to hide and the gas line chokes out a bubble spraying about $4 dollars all over my hand and shoes. As I assessed this stinky mess, one made worse by the wind now howling between the car stalls, I hear a voice from behind me and see a young man dressed in slacks, white shirt and black tie approaching me in the reflection of my car window.
"Excuse me ma'am, how are you today?"
"fine, great."
"Um, can I ask you a few questions...?"
Then he began asking me if what I believed, I never looked up, ashamed of what I must look - and smell - like at this point, so I began to wash my windows hoping he would just give up. I told him about the YL ministry I was involved in, and that I believed in the Bible as the Word of God. He said things like, "that's great...but as a good Christian, don't you feel that you should be studying all the gospels?" I responded with, "I try too, they are in the Bible." He handed me a pic of a the Book of Morman and told me that they were the missing books of the Bible from the Americas and that I should be studying them.
I was ashamed. Here I was trying to dodge this guy, but I didn't know enough about Mormonism to give him a hefty argument as to why I knew that the Bible was the infallible, only Word of God. I just took the card and he left.
I drove home feeling like a failure. God had asked me to speak the Truth and I was too wrapped up in my own discomfort and appearance to want to debate this man, and truthfully, I wouldn't have known what to say.
So I went home and did what I do best, I researched. I won't put what I found here, it's just too lengthy, maybe I'll break it up into different posts. But what I do know is what I believe, that we were born into sin because of the fall. (Ge 3:16-24; Ro 3:23; 5:12-15, 17-19; 8:19-22 Eph 2:1-5; 1Jn 3:4). That Jesus Christ defeated that sin, and defeated death giving us eternal life - should we choose it. There is only ONE God. He is not a man, and didn't 'learn' to become God. (Dt 33:27; Isa 43:10; 44:6; 45:5, 21; 46:9; Mal 3:6; 1Co 8:4; 1Ti 2:5; Rev 1:8; 21:6; 22:13). He does not have a wife. He is omnipotent, all powerful, the beginning and the end, and doesn't need 'intelligences' supporting Him. (Ge 17:1; Job 36:22-23; 42:2; Isa 14:26-27; 40:13-14; Jer 32:27; Mt 19:26; Lk 1:37; Ac 17:24-25; Rev 19:6). That's just some of it....
I will give the guy props though, if only I were brave enough to walk up to a complete stranger and ask about their beliefs. I do try to be open-minded about others beliefs and want to know more about each of them. I think it helps me to understand them and my own beliefs more clearly.
I do think it's one of my 'jobs' here during my short stay on this rock to tell others about Jesus, but I believe in sharing the gospel primarily through my example, and through those I meet and build relationships with. I am definitely not a bull-horn, standing on a crate proclaiming the damnation of the masses kind of Christian.
One good thing came out of all of this, I was able to see where I need work, and I learned a lot about Mormonism and its differences of what I believe as a Christian. Maybe that's what it was all about anyway.
Verse to Ponder: Isaiah 43:10 (NIV) "You are my witnesses," declares the LORD, "and my servant whom I have chosen, so that you may know and believe me and understand that I am he. Before me no god was formed, nor will there be one after me.
"Excuse me ma'am, how are you today?"
"fine, great."
"Um, can I ask you a few questions...?"
Then he began asking me if what I believed, I never looked up, ashamed of what I must look - and smell - like at this point, so I began to wash my windows hoping he would just give up. I told him about the YL ministry I was involved in, and that I believed in the Bible as the Word of God. He said things like, "that's great...but as a good Christian, don't you feel that you should be studying all the gospels?" I responded with, "I try too, they are in the Bible." He handed me a pic of a the Book of Morman and told me that they were the missing books of the Bible from the Americas and that I should be studying them.
I was ashamed. Here I was trying to dodge this guy, but I didn't know enough about Mormonism to give him a hefty argument as to why I knew that the Bible was the infallible, only Word of God. I just took the card and he left.
I drove home feeling like a failure. God had asked me to speak the Truth and I was too wrapped up in my own discomfort and appearance to want to debate this man, and truthfully, I wouldn't have known what to say.
So I went home and did what I do best, I researched. I won't put what I found here, it's just too lengthy, maybe I'll break it up into different posts. But what I do know is what I believe, that we were born into sin because of the fall. (Ge 3:16-24; Ro 3:23; 5:12-15, 17-19; 8:19-22 Eph 2:1-5; 1Jn 3:4). That Jesus Christ defeated that sin, and defeated death giving us eternal life - should we choose it. There is only ONE God. He is not a man, and didn't 'learn' to become God. (Dt 33:27; Isa 43:10; 44:6; 45:5, 21; 46:9; Mal 3:6; 1Co 8:4; 1Ti 2:5; Rev 1:8; 21:6; 22:13). He does not have a wife. He is omnipotent, all powerful, the beginning and the end, and doesn't need 'intelligences' supporting Him. (Ge 17:1; Job 36:22-23; 42:2; Isa 14:26-27; 40:13-14; Jer 32:27; Mt 19:26; Lk 1:37; Ac 17:24-25; Rev 19:6). That's just some of it....
I will give the guy props though, if only I were brave enough to walk up to a complete stranger and ask about their beliefs. I do try to be open-minded about others beliefs and want to know more about each of them. I think it helps me to understand them and my own beliefs more clearly.
I do think it's one of my 'jobs' here during my short stay on this rock to tell others about Jesus, but I believe in sharing the gospel primarily through my example, and through those I meet and build relationships with. I am definitely not a bull-horn, standing on a crate proclaiming the damnation of the masses kind of Christian.
One good thing came out of all of this, I was able to see where I need work, and I learned a lot about Mormonism and its differences of what I believe as a Christian. Maybe that's what it was all about anyway.
Verse to Ponder: Isaiah 43:10 (NIV) "You are my witnesses," declares the LORD, "and my servant whom I have chosen, so that you may know and believe me and understand that I am he. Before me no god was formed, nor will there be one after me.
Wednesday, October 8, 2008
FALLing up
So I LOVE fall. I love the mild weather, the colors on the trees, the smell of fireplaces being wakened for the first time in months. I love getting cozy under blankets and making hot chocolate. I love watching the kids dress up for halloween, and getting to go to football games. I love decorating the house in fall colors. I love seeing the kids in footed pajamas. I love wearing my husbands sweats. I love yummy thanksgiving meals and time with family. I love that this, the most stressful time of my year, schedule wise, is still my favorite.
I look at this season and revel in it's creation. There are so many things that tell me everyday there is a wonderful and very intelligent Creator. In YL, I've seen so many little freshman (seriously, some don't look a day older than my 9 year old) and other kids I've heard about with attitudes of "I don't know why I'm here", "I don't believe in anything" (agnostic), or those that are proud to be 'atheist'. It just confuses me! Our 'talk' at Club on Monday night was about creation. According to him, in one drop of blood there are 500 million cells. Did you know that that huge orange moon you saw in the recently, the Harvest Moon was designed to give those in harvest a brighter night, signaling the change in hours in the evening. Or what about the this tree I learned of while listening to the radio, it is in a part of the Amazon that is subject to frequent fires. It actually has leaves and branches that have a special coating. The tree won't grow unless a fire is there to burn off the coating!! Call it evolution, but if so, wouldn't it make more sence that there was a design behind that evolution? It seems to me that it would take more faith NOT to believe it were so.
This just gives me pause to look around me at everything and thank God for it. It helps me look beyond what I think I can control and know that He has planned every last minute detail in advance.
It so odd, still. I remember in HS I used to stay awake at night in tears begging, praying that God would take me. Now, I find myself, this many years later on the flip side of redemption, of restoration, a project no doubt he will be molding until I'm gone. But now, I find myself begging him to let me stay just a little longer. There's still so much I don't know, still so much I know I can do. I know what He has for me, or at least I can now see a glimpse of it, and I don't plan to waste any more time getting to it.
This fall I want to run and jump in the leaves and play and snuggle with my kids and connect and grow with the HS kids in my community. I want to show everyone who sees me just who created me, and them, and why no matter what they or I am going through, it has been carefully designed and will be ok, as long as we trust in Him and turn to Him no matter what.
Verse to Ponder: Revelation 4:11 "You are worthy, our Lord and God, to receive glory and honor and power, for you created all things, and by your will they existed and were created."
I look at this season and revel in it's creation. There are so many things that tell me everyday there is a wonderful and very intelligent Creator. In YL, I've seen so many little freshman (seriously, some don't look a day older than my 9 year old) and other kids I've heard about with attitudes of "I don't know why I'm here", "I don't believe in anything" (agnostic), or those that are proud to be 'atheist'. It just confuses me! Our 'talk' at Club on Monday night was about creation. According to him, in one drop of blood there are 500 million cells. Did you know that that huge orange moon you saw in the recently, the Harvest Moon was designed to give those in harvest a brighter night, signaling the change in hours in the evening. Or what about the this tree I learned of while listening to the radio, it is in a part of the Amazon that is subject to frequent fires. It actually has leaves and branches that have a special coating. The tree won't grow unless a fire is there to burn off the coating!! Call it evolution, but if so, wouldn't it make more sence that there was a design behind that evolution? It seems to me that it would take more faith NOT to believe it were so.
This just gives me pause to look around me at everything and thank God for it. It helps me look beyond what I think I can control and know that He has planned every last minute detail in advance.
It so odd, still. I remember in HS I used to stay awake at night in tears begging, praying that God would take me. Now, I find myself, this many years later on the flip side of redemption, of restoration, a project no doubt he will be molding until I'm gone. But now, I find myself begging him to let me stay just a little longer. There's still so much I don't know, still so much I know I can do. I know what He has for me, or at least I can now see a glimpse of it, and I don't plan to waste any more time getting to it.
This fall I want to run and jump in the leaves and play and snuggle with my kids and connect and grow with the HS kids in my community. I want to show everyone who sees me just who created me, and them, and why no matter what they or I am going through, it has been carefully designed and will be ok, as long as we trust in Him and turn to Him no matter what.
Verse to Ponder: Revelation 4:11 "You are worthy, our Lord and God, to receive glory and honor and power, for you created all things, and by your will they existed and were created."
Monday, October 6, 2008
As I'm gettin' older...
I was talking to an old friend the other day and he said, "you just need to tell your husband that you need a break, you should get a sitter and go out." You might ask what prompted his comment, but it wasn't me complaining or venting, it was him, wondering why every Friday or Saturday night he has called, that I'm washing dishes or playing barbies. When I told him I didn't have a sitter for those kinds of things, he suggested my husband watch the kiddos so I could 'get a break'. After we hung up though, I realized I didn't want a night away from my husband and kids and I started to wonder if something was wrong.
But I think things are just changing. My husband and I have grown SO much over the last ten years, and now we both like to just hang out at home, or go out together. Now I'm not saying I don't like to have girl time now and again, but I think of those moments as the icing on my life, not the filling. I don't need to 'get away'. I like private time, but I get that a lot since my husband works nights.
And the more I think about it, when I look at my kids, who have seemed to grow so quickly in the last few months, both physically and mentally, I don't know that I want to be looking for ways to get away from them. I mean, they are at school all day.
Time is just flying by these days, and now that I'm in YL, I see just how important hanging with my family really is. I see these kids, freshman (that honestly look like babies!!), just out of middle school talking about hating life, being proud of wanting to go to hell, 'gettin' with the ladies', etc. and I just know I only have a short time left with my kids. I'm not saying it's the parents fault entirely, but I know that it's my responsibility to raise my kids in the way they should go, and I don't want to have any (or at least very many) regrets.
And being with my husband the little time I am (he works A LOT) makes us stronger. We went to the movies this weekend with the kids, and we found ourselves smooching like teenagers (ok, maybe not like teenagers, maybe more the PG version-HA!) and this morning when he got home from work he pulled me close and I asked him why we were so happy, and he said what my daughter says when you ask her why she's so beautiful, "God made it that way."
So, for now, I'm more than content not going out and 'living it up' by myself. I honestly think I'm too old for that anymore anyway. :)
Oh, and here's a pic from my husband's surprise party last weekend...
Verse to Ponder: Proverbs 15:30 (NIV) A cheerful look brings joy to the heart, and good news gives health to the bones.
But I think things are just changing. My husband and I have grown SO much over the last ten years, and now we both like to just hang out at home, or go out together. Now I'm not saying I don't like to have girl time now and again, but I think of those moments as the icing on my life, not the filling. I don't need to 'get away'. I like private time, but I get that a lot since my husband works nights.
And the more I think about it, when I look at my kids, who have seemed to grow so quickly in the last few months, both physically and mentally, I don't know that I want to be looking for ways to get away from them. I mean, they are at school all day.
Time is just flying by these days, and now that I'm in YL, I see just how important hanging with my family really is. I see these kids, freshman (that honestly look like babies!!), just out of middle school talking about hating life, being proud of wanting to go to hell, 'gettin' with the ladies', etc. and I just know I only have a short time left with my kids. I'm not saying it's the parents fault entirely, but I know that it's my responsibility to raise my kids in the way they should go, and I don't want to have any (or at least very many) regrets.
And being with my husband the little time I am (he works A LOT) makes us stronger. We went to the movies this weekend with the kids, and we found ourselves smooching like teenagers (ok, maybe not like teenagers, maybe more the PG version-HA!) and this morning when he got home from work he pulled me close and I asked him why we were so happy, and he said what my daughter says when you ask her why she's so beautiful, "God made it that way."
So, for now, I'm more than content not going out and 'living it up' by myself. I honestly think I'm too old for that anymore anyway. :)
Oh, and here's a pic from my husband's surprise party last weekend...
Verse to Ponder: Proverbs 15:30 (NIV) A cheerful look brings joy to the heart, and good news gives health to the bones.
Friday, October 3, 2008
NOW you see why...
I've been doing YL now for just under 7 months, and I've never in my life felt more like where I'm supposed to be. It truly has been more fullfilling for me than any other 'thing' I've tried before. It's so gratifying and freeing and completely addicting too! :) The more you do it, the more you affect change, or help those that can, the more you want to be involved.
I went to camp last summer and it was just amazing. Truly not a 'church camp', but a camp about loving those kids, no matter what they are involved in, what they do, what they say, where they come from, showing them support and love like Jesus would, it affected me just as much if not more than those kids, and started a new 'lifestyle' in my life, which also trickled down to my family.
My director showed me a video of the camp we will be going to this summer and I got goosebumps watching it knowing what will take place there in the lives of those kids. I wanted you to see... (PAUSE the music to the left first!!!!!!!)
Lost Canyon: The Eric Scofield Tour from W. Ashley Maddox on Vimeo.
I went to camp last summer and it was just amazing. Truly not a 'church camp', but a camp about loving those kids, no matter what they are involved in, what they do, what they say, where they come from, showing them support and love like Jesus would, it affected me just as much if not more than those kids, and started a new 'lifestyle' in my life, which also trickled down to my family.
My director showed me a video of the camp we will be going to this summer and I got goosebumps watching it knowing what will take place there in the lives of those kids. I wanted you to see... (PAUSE the music to the left first!!!!!!!)
Lost Canyon: The Eric Scofield Tour from W. Ashley Maddox on Vimeo.
Wednesday, October 1, 2008
Surprise and ER
Well this past weekend was interesting. The surprise party for my husband went over great, he says he had no idea. Sometime before we went to bed (around 2am) he pulled me aside, hugged me and told me it was the best birthday ever. YAY!
We went to my son's soccer game that day too. They won! Yay Strikers!!
Then...dun dun DUN. Jaedyn wanted to fall asleep in her princess bed in our room. At 2am when we were finally hitting the hay, Dusty lifted her up to take her to her room and she was ON FIRE. Her temp was something over 102. We put her in a bath, gave her motrin, and it didn't help. It didn't go up, but it didn't go down either. She slept next to me and I kept check of her temp ever half hour. We gave her 4 more baths, she started vomiting, and then morning came. Her fever was lower but still not gone, so we took her to CareNow. They told us to take her on to the hospital because her symptoms were like those of appendicitis. Just before we left she threw up on the nurses shoes...nice.
We got to the ER and waited and they took test after test, gave her something for the nausea, so she finally started eating...she was SUPER dehydrated. We were at the hospital for about 4 hours, and when we left she still had a fever, but they told us it was just a nasty viral bug and to not worry, she could have a fever of 103 for up to 5 days. WHaaa???
So we took her home, gave her more motrin, another bath, and her fever broke. Her dad got her McDonalds and she seemed very happy. She slept with me again, this time no fever all night. She had a small fever of just 100 the next morning, but it went away within an hour of giving her more motrin. Then after that she was completely fine. She stayed home from school and ate and ate and wanted to ride bikes, etc. The next day I took her to school, thinking she's now better, but I'll surely get it, which is also why I had to miss my first YL club of the year, but I never did. No one in the house did. And here it is Wednesday and we're all still fine.
Weird.
TTFN - "Ta Ta For Now"
More later...
We went to my son's soccer game that day too. They won! Yay Strikers!!
Then...dun dun DUN. Jaedyn wanted to fall asleep in her princess bed in our room. At 2am when we were finally hitting the hay, Dusty lifted her up to take her to her room and she was ON FIRE. Her temp was something over 102. We put her in a bath, gave her motrin, and it didn't help. It didn't go up, but it didn't go down either. She slept next to me and I kept check of her temp ever half hour. We gave her 4 more baths, she started vomiting, and then morning came. Her fever was lower but still not gone, so we took her to CareNow. They told us to take her on to the hospital because her symptoms were like those of appendicitis. Just before we left she threw up on the nurses shoes...nice.
We got to the ER and waited and they took test after test, gave her something for the nausea, so she finally started eating...she was SUPER dehydrated. We were at the hospital for about 4 hours, and when we left she still had a fever, but they told us it was just a nasty viral bug and to not worry, she could have a fever of 103 for up to 5 days. WHaaa???
So we took her home, gave her more motrin, another bath, and her fever broke. Her dad got her McDonalds and she seemed very happy. She slept with me again, this time no fever all night. She had a small fever of just 100 the next morning, but it went away within an hour of giving her more motrin. Then after that she was completely fine. She stayed home from school and ate and ate and wanted to ride bikes, etc. The next day I took her to school, thinking she's now better, but I'll surely get it, which is also why I had to miss my first YL club of the year, but I never did. No one in the house did. And here it is Wednesday and we're all still fine.
Weird.
TTFN - "Ta Ta For Now"
More later...
Saturday, September 27, 2008
Both sides to this war...
K, so I wouldn't say that I'm 'affiliated' with any party, and as a Christian, I know I'm supposed to 'be in line' and-without what I feel is sufficient research or understanding on my part-sign up with the Republicans. I was sent these today and you can see why it is so difficult for someone like me (no real party affiliation, no real grasp on the issues, no real understanding of politics) could choose not to vote at all. Seeing things like this, it kinda makes me feel that voting leaves us in a "damned if you do, damned if you don't" scenario.
Just thought I'd share:
In this election, there are so many issues considered in "crisis", making the next leaders decisions have more weight than ever before in our recent generations. Looking amongst the brink of a deeper recession, continued war vs. immediate pullout (both I don't like so much), then moral issues like abortion, I, as I assume many are, am running scared.
It is true now more than ever that we rely on the One Leader to fix all of this. Now is the time to exercise our faith, to believe without question that He has a plan for all of this.
I don't know about you, but this anxiety about what's to come for our country has not only got me on my knees, but on my face before Him.
Verse to Ponder: Philippians 4:6 (NKJV) Be anxious for nothing, but in everything by prayer and supplication, with thanksgiving, let your requests be made known to God.
Just thought I'd share:
In this election, there are so many issues considered in "crisis", making the next leaders decisions have more weight than ever before in our recent generations. Looking amongst the brink of a deeper recession, continued war vs. immediate pullout (both I don't like so much), then moral issues like abortion, I, as I assume many are, am running scared.
It is true now more than ever that we rely on the One Leader to fix all of this. Now is the time to exercise our faith, to believe without question that He has a plan for all of this.
I don't know about you, but this anxiety about what's to come for our country has not only got me on my knees, but on my face before Him.
Verse to Ponder: Philippians 4:6 (NKJV) Be anxious for nothing, but in everything by prayer and supplication, with thanksgiving, let your requests be made known to God.
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