Ch-ch-ch-changes...

Oh, how the view is different from here!

"Everything in life changes you in some way. Even the smallest things. If you do not accept these changes, you do not accept yourself. For through these changes brings new and greater things to you, making you wiser, as time progresses. To avoid these changes is a loss. You only live your life once. Do not waste a minute of it avoiding things. Let them come to you, and learn from them." - Adam R. Gwizdala

I am just flabbergasted at how much I have changed, just within the last decade. I remember when we first bought this house, how proud I was of it. Not that I’m not proud now, I just see how silly I used to be. Like when I was a child acting aloof while I held my new doll against the window in the car for passer-bys to see and appreciate my good fortune, I felt the same about my new big house.

Our first Christmas we were in need of a new Christmas tree. Our old ‘charlie-brown-esque’ tree just wasn’t going to cut it in these new 20 foot ceilings. My husband and I shopped all around for the biggest tree we could find and afford. I was so proud of that thing! We circled the store showing off our new gigantic tree for all those around us to admire. That first year we were so excited and prominently displayed the tree in the six windows on the back of our house. We took pictures of it, we even invited our friends to check it out. By the third year of an all-day event to lug the monstrosity out of the attic in several pieces and use a 10 foot ladder to set it up and decorate it, and even more hours finding the one light that no longer worked making the whole thing dark – we chose not to put it up anymore. We even busted out the old Charlie-brown tree. We made decorations with the kids and spent the day wrapping presents and eating food instead.

I also think about how when I was thirteen, after another smoggy gem from my dad, that he blamed on a mysterious elephant or frog under some chair somewhere, I looked at my mom with disgust and said, “How could you ever marry someone that farts like that!” She laughed and said, one day you will! I furiously denied that fact at the time. I was going to marry someone with a washboard stomach, no hair anywhere but where it was supposed to be, no flatulence, a big pocketbook and lots of romantic ideals. Who would have guessed that I would be completely smitten with a man after 12 years together, who let’s say, just doesn’t quite make the list of my 13 year old self? How is it that with all of his differences from that list, he's still the man of my dreams?

Then there’s the career vs. mommy debate. I’ve struggled with this more than anything. At times I felt like being ‘just a mom’ wasn’t enough. When my son was little I was on track to be the youngest executive in my company, making more than anyone I knew my age. After my daughter was born, I chose to stay home and even though I struggle with discontentment from time to time, or feeling incompetent as a mom, I know this is where I’m supposed to be right now. But in the future, things may change again.

It is a journey. At some spots things seem so important, at other times, they are just silly. We all grow, change, evolve and learn. I am SO thankful for that journey, and look forward to my next decade of changes and growth. I am now more open to change, more open to embrace the journey, even with all of it’s bumps and potholes!

Verse to Ponder: John 10:10 (CEV) I came so that everyone would have life, and have it in its fullest.